Nobbut Laiking, by Ross Brewster
Harry was our last old-style police inspector. He must have figured in tens of thousands of tourists’ photographs, but then he was a well-known and respected figure in the town and, when he was out and about on duty, locals and visitors stopped to say “how do”.
When he retired, choosing to remain in Keswick, he and Will, the dog he took for exercise at the 11 o’clock club in the park, fitted like a glove into the character of the town he had served so well.
Cumbria, no doubt not alone, went through a period after 2000 when real, live bobbies largely disappeared from the streets and magistrates’ courts and police stations were shut and sold off.
The police blamed cuts in finance and advances in technology which provided them with more sophisticated ways of catching criminals than pounding the beat.
In Keswick, where I reported local stories for nearly 40 years, we once had an inspector, half a dozen constables and at least two sergeants, a front office desk, a couple of CID men, and resident bobbies in most of the surrounding villages.
If I needed the correct information for a story I could go straight to officers like Sid Jordan at Bassenthwaite and Alan Robson at Braithwaite. There were police houses in the villages where any crime reports or suspicions would be heard by an officer and not a computer.
Okay so it was a bit Dixon of Dock Green in the eyes of upcoming career-minded younger people in the police. But by and large it worked.
And now we’re getting our own dedicated bobby in town. Not exactly ground-breaking, but it’s a start. They threw the baby out with the bath water long ago when they absorbed local policing into larger towns. No fewer than 18 police stations across Cumbria have closed since 2011.
You’ll never get the courtroom and police station back other than as a tourist novelty. At least JD Wetherspoon, when they bought the Keswick premises in 2013, retained much of the character of the court, enabling diners to sit in the cells or the dock, even on the more austere Bench, munching their burgers and chips and supping their pints.
Maryport has got its own bobby. A chap by the name of Sam who has been talking to the kids and, according to local reports, helping by his presence to reduce anti-social behaviour.
I doubt the police will admit that they have seen the error of those swingeing cuts in the early years of this century. But there’s no shame in turning the hands of the clock back if the human touch can help reduce the vandalism and anti-social conduct that blights most towns these days.
For all the fast cars and technology, nothing provides public comfort and confidence like a uniformed police officer. Forget those cardboard cutouts in supermarkets. Even the town drunk, nicking a bottle of whisky under his coat, knows that’s a gimmick.
Policing has changed to meet the modern era. But there’s one traditional method that still has its place.
I’m sure Harry, were he around town today, would agree most heartily.
From one addiction to another
There’s an old proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I wondered if I was somewhere along that road one day last week when I fought my way through a fug of steam, with its sickly fruit smell.
The hope was that vaping would get thousands of people off fags and headed towards a healthier, if still nicotine filled, lifestyle.
I’m old enough to remember when smoking was thought of as cool. They even had menthol cigarettes and there was one advert that suggested doctors agreed smoking was good for you.
It was certainly the way a man about town would go. The trilby, the collar pushed up, the dark street corner. You’re never alone with a…. I don’t remember that particular brand name, but smoking was definitely a social accomplishment for men and women alike. Now smokers are pariahs, gathering in little knots outside pubs and offices for a quick drag.
And what have we got to replace cigarettes? Something that might turn out to be just as noxious and, who knows, every bit as addictive.
By 2021 a report said there were 81 million vapers worldwide. Unfortunately it has massive appeal to the young with its shiny packaging and sweet flavours.
In shifting smokers away from one addiction they have created another and personally I hate vaping steam even more than I do a lung full of someone else’s smoke.
Paxman bowed out with grace
That’s the way to depart. Jeremy Paxman has hosted University Challenge for the final time. He’s suffering from Parkinson’s and decided before the last series it was time to step aside.
No great fuss. He simply saw the final quiz to bed before informing viewers that the programme will be back again in the autumn “when I shall be watching at home just like you”.
After some of the luvvie hand-wringing and tears that has infected our screens lately, Paxman went out with style, the consummate gentleman.