Nobbut Laiking, by Ross Brewster
Robert Peston was going a bit far when, on ITV’s news programme, he described Nicola Sturgeon as “truly remarkable, one of the most important politicians of this generation”.
However the SNP leader’s resignation has one important impact. It spells the end of the independence campaign, at least for a few more years.
And that’s good news for parties of pensioners heading north of the Border on coach tours, or simply fancying a day’s shopping at the Gretna Gateway centre.
No searching their bags for missing passports or being hauled off Shearings coaches and frisked by over-zealous kilt-clad Scots for the illicit possession of Lorne sausage on the return trip from the Highlands.
Peston may consider Nicola Sturgeon a significant political figure. I just found her every appearance on TV irritating.
In her retirement speech she called for an end to hysteria in politics. Hasn’t she been winding people up and stoking the fires of discord for most of her eight years as leader?
Rural voters are turning against the Conservatives
Rishi Sunak strikes me more as a Labrador type than a Rottweiler man.
But in appointing Lee Anderson as deputy chairman of the Tory party he’s gambling on the attack dog approach.
I suspect Mr Anderson is more allied to Mark Jenkinson than Neil Hudson in political style and it’s not insignificant that the former has won the nomination to fight the new Penrith and Solway constituency at the next general election.
Last time it was the red wall that played a key role in the election, that and Workington Man.
However, red could become blue in terms of decisive votes in the next election. It’s the country folk, the farmers, who polls suggest feel neglected and are turning against Conservative voting tradition.
They are more likely to listen to Jeremy Clarkson than to Lee Anderson, whose principal role is to bolster dwindling support in the red wall areas.
Labour took voters for granted until they turned. Now it’s the Conservatives who, having grabbed the red wall prize in 2019, have failed to learn.
The countryside has put up with agricultural insecurity, health care problems, lack of policing, plus housing and a number of other issues, and might be preparing to show its disaffection in 2024.
Be careful with your balloons
When the story broke about the US Air Force shooting down spy balloons, something even more ridiculous struck me than the embarrassing possibility that at least some of them had been launched by a hobbies club and were not some fiendish Chinese trickery.
It was the description of flying objects at 40,000 feet, similar to a small car, that got my mind racing to Mr Bean’s Mini or Ron Weasley at the wheel of his dad’s Ford Anglia.
To add to the mystery of the balloons came a plea from the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade saying “one of our balloons is missing”. A group, not of spies, but of ham radio and high altitude ballooning enthusiasts.
Was it one of theirs brought down by a million dollar missile? Just a warning to anyone planning a balloon race at the school fete this summer. Be careful, otherwise you might get the head’s office taken out by a stray Sidewinder.
And if you want to avoid a late night knock at the door by CIA and FBI agents clutching a limp balloon with a little piece of card tied on by string for goodness sake don’t buy a ticket.
Being a critic is a hazardous business
Tricks of the trade can come in handy for the drama critic facing how to describe a rotten performance.
A well-practised critic once gave me a useful tip. If it was a local group, and you did not want to be overtly unkind about their abject efforts, the words “adequately evinced” covered a multitude of sins. In other words, damned with faint praise.
Clearly the ballet critic in Germany who so upset the director that he smeared the contents of his dachshund’s poo bag over her face in a public hissy fit, did not know the value of those two words.
Being a critic can be a hazardous business as Ms Wiebke Huster discovered on her visit to the Hanover State Opera.
Clearly the director felt she had been unfair in her criticism of past productions. But he has subsequently agreed that criticism is part of the job and issued an apology.
I’ve seen more turkeys on stage than Bernard Matthews had on his farm. One tries not to ridicule anyone. But even the amateurs charge the public to see their shows and it’s only right that some indication is given in reviews of what they are likely to see for their money.
I once upset a visiting director so much he threatened never to return with his plays. This philistine reviewer was probably wrong because he became quite well-known.
I also upset a local group so much they banned me from their shows for four blissful years. Missing their productions was no hardship and in fairness they are now putting on some first rate material.
The blessing is that none of the cast of that long ago show were doggy enthusiasts.
