Nobbut Laiking, by Ross Brewster
My next car could well be a lime green Mini with an armchair strapped to the roof, a mop and a wire attached to the accelerator pedal with a brick. In other words, Mr Bean’s first example of a driverless car. At least it makes more sense than buying electric.
Rowan Atkinson, creator of the eccentric character, is being blamed for the drop in sales of electric cars. Seems he wrote an article in the Guardian criticising them. The Guardian has so few readers these days I doubt more than a couple of hundred potential buyers read the actor-comedian’s treatise.
If I remember rightly, my former dentist once owned Mr Bean’s Mini. He set up an exhibition of cars that had appeared in films and on TV as a sideline to pulling teeth. It became quite a famous tourist attraction. He acquired vehicles that had a film or TV connection including a James Bond car and Del Boy’s Reliant Regal which was always a favourite when given outings at local carnivals.
I can’t believe Rowan Atkinson has affected sales of electric cars in any significant way. Had it not been for a reference to the article during a session of evidence in the House of Lords, I don’t suppose I would have ever come across it.
The truth is a lot of people now regret buying them. They are expensive, have a limited range and a journey can often take hours because of the need to find a charging point. There have also been reports of spontaneous combustion. I’ve even heard that some drivers wear extra layers rather than risk running down the battery by using the heater in winter.
I have a little Fiat Panda, petrol driven, that has served me well. You don’t need a gas guzzler for the narrow roads in the Lake District. Nor is electric a great benefit. Exactly where do you find a charging point on Wrynose Pass when the battery is running low? I see Fiat is almost exclusively going electric and making the cars in Serbia and calling them Pandinis. Hardly the romance of Italy.
When the time comes will I be able to afford a new car? Latest official figures suggest pensioners will need an extra £8,000 income this year in order to retain a moderate standard of living. There’s a pile of bills here needing my attention. Everything goes up, nothing ever comes down in price. And I certainly can’t consider going electric while the saving in running costs nowhere near offsets the initial price. For once Mr Bean makes sense.
It’s nowt to do with colonialism
It looks like some more interfering busybodies are appearing over the horizon, this lot called Wildlife and Countryside Link. No surprise to learn they are receiving taxpayers’ money.
All the usual suspects gathered under one Natural England umbrella. Bet you can guess some of them — the National Trust, RSPCA, WWF.
And their big message is rooting out racist colonial legacies in a “white dominated” countryside. The usual stuff about diversity and inclusivity.
When we had our massive flood a group of Muslims from Bradford volunteered to help the clean up. It was much appreciated. Keswick invited some of them and their families to come for a weekend as a thank you. A walk was organised, but it was obvious it was not their cup of tea. They never came back. No disrespect, they don’t do fell walking just as we might not do their cultural activities.
In my early years I had a girlfriend who was living in London. We met on holiday and kept it going for a couple of years, but when it came to the crunch she admitted she hated the Lake District and the mountains and I was not prepared to move to London when I had a really good job here and loved the area as much as any girl. It would never have worked. I thought of that when I saw the families trailing around the local park one Saturday morning.
The National Park had a bright idea once. They tried to attract more ethnically varied groups. A change from a Lakeland stuffed with grim Wainwright types. That did not work either. For some it was a revelation, but most of the visitors probably thought people like me were barmy, trotting round the fells in our shorts in winter and they were probably right.
The Lake District has to be open and welcoming to all, but it’s nowt to do with colonialism. For some it’s just not their first choice.
The words ‘Truss’ and ‘popular’ don’t belong in the same sentence
Former Penrith and the Border MP Rory Stewart tells the story of how, returning to the office after the death of his father, Liz Truss, his senior at the Environment Department asked unwittingly if he’d had a good weekend.
Stewart told her about his father and she seemed perplexed about what to say. In the end she just asked if he had finished a report on a 10-year plan. She wasn’t good with people.
Now the former prime minister — briefly — is back, speaking at a meeting about “popular Conservatism”. One thing she’ll never be is popular.
